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Two letters with easy, easy answers
Jul. 30th, 2025 08:28 amconuly posting in agonyaunt1. Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband âChadâ and I have a 4-year-old son, âLane.â Recently for his birthday, my parents gifted him a set of Winnie-the-Pooh books. Itâs been a tradition in my family for the last three generations for kids to read these books. But my husband wonât let my son have them.
He says doesnât want Lane to read them because he insists that Winnie-the-Pooh is for girls. Iâve never heard anything so stupid! How can I make him understand that Pooh is a character that has been beloved by both boys and girls alike for nearly a century now?
âMuch Ado About Pooh
( Read more... )
****
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife âCarlaâ and I have a 3-year-old son, âAndy.â Andy became a big brother last month when we had our daughter, âIsabelle.â Andy had been reliably potty-trained for four months before Isabelle was born, but within days of bringing Isabelle home from the hospital, Andy began having accidents. Carlaâs solution has been to put him back in pull-ups. I donât think allowing him to regress like this is a wise idea. She says to let him do it for the time being if it makes him feel better. It seems to me that taking a firm approach (making him go back to using the toilet or face punishment) would be in his best interest. Who is right?
âWeâre Not Going Backward
( Read more... )
My husband âChadâ and I have a 4-year-old son, âLane.â Recently for his birthday, my parents gifted him a set of Winnie-the-Pooh books. Itâs been a tradition in my family for the last three generations for kids to read these books. But my husband wonât let my son have them.
He says doesnât want Lane to read them because he insists that Winnie-the-Pooh is for girls. Iâve never heard anything so stupid! How can I make him understand that Pooh is a character that has been beloved by both boys and girls alike for nearly a century now?
âMuch Ado About Pooh
( Read more... )
2. Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife âCarlaâ and I have a 3-year-old son, âAndy.â Andy became a big brother last month when we had our daughter, âIsabelle.â Andy had been reliably potty-trained for four months before Isabelle was born, but within days of bringing Isabelle home from the hospital, Andy began having accidents. Carlaâs solution has been to put him back in pull-ups. I donât think allowing him to regress like this is a wise idea. She says to let him do it for the time being if it makes him feel better. It seems to me that taking a firm approach (making him go back to using the toilet or face punishment) would be in his best interest. Who is right?
âWeâre Not Going Backward
( Read more... )
Two more wedding letters
Jul. 24th, 2025 03:14 pmconuly posting in agonyaunt1. Dear Care and Feeding,
Iâm getting married next year, and my mom is helping me with a lot of the planning. Sheâs great at this stuff, and super excited to help (and Iâm glad to have herâsheâs one of my best friends!). But weâre worried about squabblingâor to be honest, yelling at each otherâduring the process. Weâre VERY close, but prone to fighting about nonsense things. Any tips for avoiding a repeat of my (very loud) teenage years while we plan?
âMy FiancĂ© is Very Calm, By the Way
( Read more... )
**************
2. Dear Prudence,
I am an only child and my mother has always been ⊠letâs call it âinvolvedâ with my life, and I have done my best to deal with it. Two years ago, I met my now-fiancĂ©e, âArista,â and we are getting married in November. Last week, my mother came to me demanding that I call off our engagement. As it turns out, she had had a professional background check done on Arista, and she really did not like what sheâd found.
After her little snoop-about, my mother discovered that she used to be in adult entertainment. The thing is, Arista was up front with me about this early on in our relationship and it doesnât matter to me. However, I had intended to not say anything to my mother because I knew she would react like this, but more importantly, it wasnât her business.
When I told my mom as much, she blew up and told me that I couldnât sully our family by âmarrying a whore.â I told her this wasnât her decision and that she could either treat my future wife with the respect and decency she deserves or sit out the wedding. Now sheâs told everyone in the family. Many are supportive and think sheâs nuts, but some have shared her reaction. Is this grounds for removing her from my life for good?
âPilloried By the Past
( Read more... )
Iâm getting married next year, and my mom is helping me with a lot of the planning. Sheâs great at this stuff, and super excited to help (and Iâm glad to have herâsheâs one of my best friends!). But weâre worried about squabblingâor to be honest, yelling at each otherâduring the process. Weâre VERY close, but prone to fighting about nonsense things. Any tips for avoiding a repeat of my (very loud) teenage years while we plan?
âMy FiancĂ© is Very Calm, By the Way
( Read more... )
2. Dear Prudence,
I am an only child and my mother has always been ⊠letâs call it âinvolvedâ with my life, and I have done my best to deal with it. Two years ago, I met my now-fiancĂ©e, âArista,â and we are getting married in November. Last week, my mother came to me demanding that I call off our engagement. As it turns out, she had had a professional background check done on Arista, and she really did not like what sheâd found.
After her little snoop-about, my mother discovered that she used to be in adult entertainment. The thing is, Arista was up front with me about this early on in our relationship and it doesnât matter to me. However, I had intended to not say anything to my mother because I knew she would react like this, but more importantly, it wasnât her business.
When I told my mom as much, she blew up and told me that I couldnât sully our family by âmarrying a whore.â I told her this wasnât her decision and that she could either treat my future wife with the respect and decency she deserves or sit out the wedding. Now sheâs told everyone in the family. Many are supportive and think sheâs nuts, but some have shared her reaction. Is this grounds for removing her from my life for good?
âPilloried By the Past
( Read more... )
(no subject)
Jul. 24th, 2025 03:06 pmconuly posting in agonyauntMy mother-in-law, âHannah,â is a retired pediatrician, and self-appointed captain of our kidsâ health care. Whenever we take our kids to the doctor, we have to have a post-visit debrief with Hannah, who demands every detail before offering her own (unsolicited) advice. Often, her advice contradicts the pediatricianâs recommendations, and she will get upset when we take the doctorâs side over hers.
My husband, âTom,â says itâs better to humor her and pay lip-service to following her recommendations. I get that itâs his mom, but Iâm the one fielding the questions! (Tom does what he can, but Iâm usually the one taking them to the doctor and talking to her after.) Iâm just sick and tired of dealing with this.
âEnough
( Read more... )
My husband, âTom,â says itâs better to humor her and pay lip-service to following her recommendations. I get that itâs his mom, but Iâm the one fielding the questions! (Tom does what he can, but Iâm usually the one taking them to the doctor and talking to her after.) Iâm just sick and tired of dealing with this.
âEnough
( Read more... )
Carolyn Hax: LW thinks fifth bride in family's wedding is not as big a deal
Jul. 24th, 2025 10:16 amfirebatvillain posting in agonyauntDear Carolyn: I have five children, two daughters. “Lynn” is 40, and “Emma” is 29. Lynn got married 15 years ago, and since she was the first bride of the younger generation, a big fuss was made over her wedding by me, my two sisters and especially my mother.
Emma is getting married next month, but since she is the fifth and last bride in our family, it’s not as big a deal. That’s the way it was in the previous generation, too, because this happened to my sister, the sixth bride that time around.
Complicating matters is the fact that Lynn is a stay-at-home mom of four whose husband recently left her for another woman. She is in a tailspin and requiring a lot of support. The whole family of women are pulling together for her, cooking, cleaning, taking turns sleeping at her house, etc. Except for my mom, we all have full-time jobs, which two of us didn’t have 15 years ago.
All that leaves us with little time or energy to focus on Emma’s wedding, which I thought she would understand. When she asked when we would all be making the usual desserts and decorations for the reception, no one felt they could commit.
Emma was hurt and pointed out what everyone did for Lynn, but we can’t even “do the minimum” for her. I was blindsided by her anger. I’m sorry we did more for her sister and cousins, but Lynn has the greater need right now.
I told Emma her father and I are paying for everything just like we did for her sister, and she could ask her friends to help.
Am I/are we being unfair to Emma?
— Blindsided
Emma is getting married next month, but since she is the fifth and last bride in our family, it’s not as big a deal. That’s the way it was in the previous generation, too, because this happened to my sister, the sixth bride that time around.
Complicating matters is the fact that Lynn is a stay-at-home mom of four whose husband recently left her for another woman. She is in a tailspin and requiring a lot of support. The whole family of women are pulling together for her, cooking, cleaning, taking turns sleeping at her house, etc. Except for my mom, we all have full-time jobs, which two of us didn’t have 15 years ago.
All that leaves us with little time or energy to focus on Emma’s wedding, which I thought she would understand. When she asked when we would all be making the usual desserts and decorations for the reception, no one felt they could commit.
Emma was hurt and pointed out what everyone did for Lynn, but we can’t even “do the minimum” for her. I was blindsided by her anger. I’m sorry we did more for her sister and cousins, but Lynn has the greater need right now.
I told Emma her father and I are paying for everything just like we did for her sister, and she could ask her friends to help.
Am I/are we being unfair to Emma?
— Blindsided
( Read more... )