Adele Dawn

So, the stairs have been bad since I moved here. As in, crumbling under my feet bad. There was a metal ramp put in for safety during hospice care and I've left it just so I can go from the porch to the ground safely. Last weekend, family came to stay because we were going to fix them but it was during the heat wave and everyone was suffering so they went home a day early.

BUT! Stairs are being constructed away, in pieces, and they are bringing the pieces next week to construct a new way to the ground from the porch and I am very excited! It's only been two years of using the gawd awful ramp of doom so its time. They are also bringing the mattress for my bed and my cedar chest over with them (they have a pick-up and offered) so I'll finally have my bed and not the rock hard bed of DOOM! to sleep on. I'm also very excited about that.

The living room is finally a place to have guests and not just a disaster zone. Furniture mostly all where I want it (I'm moving a display case today to the "library" room) and mostly clutter free. I haven't set up any entertainment devices but I'm getting there, although there's nothing but a tiny tv/vcr combo and a projector. I don't watch tv anyways so it just hasn't been a priority. It's exciting to finally be moving towards having a home and not just a roof over my head.

Life

In which everything I had planned for this week has been cancelled for bad weather and unexpected guests.

I was working on cutting the weeds and blackberries back but the weather has gone foul so the helper and I can't get out to do it at the moment. I may not go very fast but it gets done eventually, provided it ever stops raining long enough.

I don't mind the rain though, it's always my favorite weather. I love watching it and how it makes the world seem cozier, at least to me. It's always better rain rather than too hot.

I was supposed to go to the gym with Pet!Mom tomorrow but she's got out-of-town guests showing up.

So since there's supposed to be a break in the weather tomorrow, out and at the weeds again instead!

Books

In which I try to get back in the swing of reading books instead of wasting away scrolling through the doom scroll of social medias.

I put several books on hold through the library, which of course means they all came available at the same time. Finished "Shards of Honor" by Lois McMaster Bujold and then the audiobook of "All the Birds in the Sky" by Charlie Jane Anders. Both audiobook versions have worked better for me actually finishing them than trying to read print. Neither physical or ebook seems to keep my interest long enough to finish, or in some cases, even start.

I've got "Neuromancer" by William Gibson on audio still, and "How to ADHD" by Jessica McCabe in print (we'll see how that goes, may try on the PC desktop for that one.) And then I've got some Tiktok hyped deal on hold I guess? Anyways, I'm going to give "Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries" a shot and see how it goes. That one is ebook as well, so it also just may not.

As far as how I liked the ones I read? Well...

Shards of Honor was fine, I liked the story well enough although I would have been happier I think with more detail as it felt like a very fast book. Also, and I'm not sure how to explain this really, the narrator took some getting used to. Like, he wasn't bad. But. There was a style to how he spoke, how he enunciated characters/the voice he gave them that threw me back to when I'd watch Turner Movie Classics. A real 1950s-60s vibe. Once I got past that, it was fine. It's always something about Baen books, I don't know.

I will say - I can see why people like "All the Birds in the Sky". I liked it well enough. But there were too many references to current things - music, social media like the bookface and the tweets, specific companies. It almost felt like product placement and it was too jarring. The storyline, the characters? I liked a lot of that. I know that its a book that if I was still working in the bookstore, I'd definitely recommend to people but it was not my cup of tea.

Living full time at Base Camp now. The significant other agreed to counseling but nothing else has come of it yet. I don't know that anything will. We shall see. I want to get through this next weekend without a lot of drama as my naturally suspicious self is concerned about the SO's activities. Provided they don't start anything or come up with any surprises it'll be another few months at least of coasting in that department. *fingers crossed*

Started therapy at the end of last year and that's been going okay. Not sure about my therapist really, but its online so I may just not know what I'm doing or what to expect. Overall it's been good for me and I'm not sorry I started it. It's helped tremendously with the anxiety and running thoughts.

Family has been drama, intentional and not: ( Read more... )

I've restarted rereading through J. D. Robb's In Death series in audiobooks. It's nice to have something playing while I work on the various projects that need doing. I've missed getting to read. I should say I've missed the ability to sit down and spend time reading a physical book since as soon as I do I am beset by the guilt of not doing the things that need doing. The thing is there is always something that needs doing and I have to get to a point where I'm okay with that - not yet, but audiobooks as baby steps towards one day being able to sit and read a physical/ebook!

It's been a time since last I was here. Things started rolling and just didn't stop or even slow down some until now. It feels like I hit the ground running in June and just never slowed down until last week.

( Read more... *cw: medical, cancer, death* )Anyways, it's been so much everything. *lies down on floor and naps*

We're waiting on more information here still. A suspended moment, a pause between one bad break and the next.
( Read more... )

It's weird to say not much has changed from the last time I posted other than the weather. I've moved inside vs working on the garden and I try to interact with people in the real world as little as possible. I spend a great deal of time online talking to people in my ffxiv circle. It's very smol but all I need really because too many is too much. Work changed hands again - same job, different business cuts the check. Not that I've been working much as *waves hands about at the state of the world*.  ... and now I'm off as I need to see what the vacumn has gotten stuck on.

 I've had a long month of family disasters. Everything is finally on the mend, which is nice. I'm sorry that someone was hurt. I feel worse that I don't feel as bad as I should about not going to be there. But this is a family member that has made it clear in the past that they didn't want a relationship so...idk. I've talked to them on the phone, sent them get well things but I just don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted and where I'm just gonna end up feeling bad about myself because they are embarrassed by me. Just tired of the guilt trips for not being as present as other people feel I should be. 

People are exhausting.

The latest argument to hit - paying on the credit card I use to buy things for the house. Someone went thru and itemized down what their responsible to pay for and what I have to pay for. Turns out they don't think paying for yard work items or household items is their concern. 

It's exhausting to live here. Are there things I feel responsible for? Yes, paying my game subscription I feel is my responsibility. But because I want the yard to look nice, the house to look good, shouldn't be. But I guess it is, so there we go.  

*sighs deeply*

I hate my life here. But I don't know how to get myself out.

 Well. We've arrived. We're here. There's still stuff to go get from the old place but officially, we've landed in the new place. Our place. 

*falls over completely exhausted*

Now I've just got to get my wrists to forgive me this outrage (carpal tunnel syndrome is a misery beyond compare) and then I can start unpacking. 

Still have a lingering cough and I'm getting tired super easily but on the mend finally.

Trying to pack up a house while down with a cold is miserable. So I'm listening to podcasts and audiobooks and picking away at tasks to get done while taking breaks as often as possible. I hate moving but hopefully this is one of the last times.

Currently listening to Spirits podcast - mythology, folklore, urban legends and Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor.