Hearth and Home
Jan. 16th, 2019 01:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
adeledawnNew year - time to clean out the things I don't need or want in my life.
Currently I'm working on my electronic life - email, who I follow on twitch, discord channels, internet tabs I have open, all that sort of thing, lol. All of it has become bloated and unwieldy so it's time to let some things go. Dealing with people who don't want or need my company, my input, or that make me feel bad for being me - done with that. I don't have time for that. I deserve better.
I had a bad morning with some community things that are supposed to be for fun and with another where I realized that I was expending an emotional effort that was not appreciated. It made me realize I needed to do this. I'm not a mod, a mom, or someone who even really means anything to these people so *shrugs*. Time to move on to things that bring me joy and people I enjoy spending time with.
It's hard, because the empathy kicks in and I'm afraid of letting down people I don't even know. And that's just dumb. They don't care, they don't know me, I don't know them. Anxiety makes it hard to do things that I should, sometimes, so instead of canceling a subscription I just let it run even though I'm not using it or staying in a discord that I don't even read. And I needed to change that. I had one more thing I was on the fence about, but writing this out made me realize that I needed to let it go as well.
It feels good to get out from underneath some of that.
Currently I'm working on my electronic life - email, who I follow on twitch, discord channels, internet tabs I have open, all that sort of thing, lol. All of it has become bloated and unwieldy so it's time to let some things go. Dealing with people who don't want or need my company, my input, or that make me feel bad for being me - done with that. I don't have time for that. I deserve better.
I had a bad morning with some community things that are supposed to be for fun and with another where I realized that I was expending an emotional effort that was not appreciated. It made me realize I needed to do this. I'm not a mod, a mom, or someone who even really means anything to these people so *shrugs*. Time to move on to things that bring me joy and people I enjoy spending time with.
It's hard, because the empathy kicks in and I'm afraid of letting down people I don't even know. And that's just dumb. They don't care, they don't know me, I don't know them. Anxiety makes it hard to do things that I should, sometimes, so instead of canceling a subscription I just let it run even though I'm not using it or staying in a discord that I don't even read. And I needed to change that. I had one more thing I was on the fence about, but writing this out made me realize that I needed to let it go as well.
It feels good to get out from underneath some of that.
